May 31, 2010: Running (OK, Jogging...)

This post is about me. I usually do not like to talk (or write) about myself, but maybe others recognize themselves. Most of you who know me, also know I have a weight struggle. This has gone on for most of my life, although I have had "thin" years. Looking back at pictures when I was younger and thought I was fat makes me think: WTF was I thinking, I was not fat there. Somehow the fat thoughts crept into my brain and never left. So now that I have 2 kiddo's, and our little family is complete, it is time to do something for myself.
Two months ago, Aaron and I went to the local gym. I decided that I was going to do something GOOD for myself during my leave from work. It was fun, I showed Aaron the weights (I used to work at a healthclub. Go figure. I used to HELP people lose weight.) After the weights we went on the treadmill. I had been walking on an incline so decided to do that, Aaron got on the treadmill and started running (the guy has not worked out in YEARS, but for some reasom when you get a guy on a treadmill, walking just won't do for them). So after 5 minutes I thought, shoot, I will jog, maybe a mile. 2 miles later, I stopped. I felt goooood! So I returned to the gym the rest of the week and jogged 2 miles. I have been jogging for a while now, and really enjoy it. I think it is because when I work out, it is ONLY FOR ME. When I do my other hobby (horses), I still always have to consider someone else (the horse), but when I work out, it is just me.
Last Saturday I was crazy enough to agree to work out with 2 mommies who are wanting to get in better shape but are not overweight. I was the slow one and kind of wanted to berate myself for even going (they might laugh, they might look down on me, all those kinds of thoughts went through my head that are probably not true because they are some of the nicest women I know, like so many I have met thanks to Annelies. Oops, run-on sentence...) It did make me think about goals for myself (we will talk on a regular basis about our goals and eating and hold each other accountable.) I also learned some additional excercises and was reintroduced to lunges. So this morning at the gym I used the indoor soccer field to do lunges and other excercises. I am sure I looked like a dork but I really did not care! It feels good to do something healthy for myself finally!!!